Post by Doc on Jan 17, 2018 13:11:14 GMT -5
Who is Gabe Kapler?
Kapler comes to Philadelphia from the Los Angeles Dodgers. At 42, he’s the youngest Phillies manager since then 37-year-old Terry Francona was hired 21 years ago.
Kapler follows a growing trend in baseball of teams hiring managers with scant managerial experience but with a younger, more progressive worldview.
So what else is there to know about Kapler, a Hollywood, Calif., native who will now be calling Philadelphia home?
Oh, GREAT! The Phillies hired a liberal weirdo from Cali, who has little to no managerial experience, and is sure to insert politics into our baseball team. Why in the hell does anyone care about his "worldview"? Fucking awesome. Please tell me more.
He has a Lifestyle blog/website of sorts. The most famous of blog posts he wrote, as captured by Deadspin years ago, was about his curious tip on what to use coconut oil for.
"You're moisturized and smelling tropical, your teeth are white and your face looks like you've just visited a Beverly Hills plastic surgeon. The sun has set, and the moon is out. Perhaps you have a friend nearby, perhaps it's just you by your lonesome…well, this is awkward. I've promised you authenticity, honesty and openness. Take this how you wish and I'll spare you the step by step. Coconut oil is the world's greatest lubricant. I can't help where your mind goes with this. Once the ball leaves the bat, I can't steer it".
So there you go, sports fans. Start masturbating with coconut oil.
Please tell me more about your new and progressive thinking, Gabe.
"I have a tree right outside my bedroom.
It stands outside my window, its palms reaching meters from my bed. When it’s rainy and breezy, my tree is a percussion instrument. There’s only one on earth like it. A thousand tiny hands drumming and shaking; a symphony of one.
Each night, two paths present themselves to me. Sleep deeply and soundly by tightly sealing the window or leave it open to fully absorb the score, drifting in and out of rest until sunrise.
I never close it".
At least Gabe Kapler was important to gay male sports fans
As the Internet grew and blogging became popular, Kapler embraced the platform to post on fitness, nutrition and health as part of a lifestyle he called Kaplifestyle. Shirtless photos continued to be a staple, as were offbeat articles about the wonders of jerking off with coconut oil or the importance of tanning your balls.
Also heard he's trying to switch out sunflower seeds with grasshoppers, because protein is important.
Alright, I've seen and heard enough. We're screwed. Dude's a fucking headcase. Great hire, Philly.
Kapler comes to Philadelphia from the Los Angeles Dodgers. At 42, he’s the youngest Phillies manager since then 37-year-old Terry Francona was hired 21 years ago.
Kapler follows a growing trend in baseball of teams hiring managers with scant managerial experience but with a younger, more progressive worldview.
So what else is there to know about Kapler, a Hollywood, Calif., native who will now be calling Philadelphia home?
Oh, GREAT! The Phillies hired a liberal weirdo from Cali, who has little to no managerial experience, and is sure to insert politics into our baseball team. Why in the hell does anyone care about his "worldview"? Fucking awesome. Please tell me more.
He has a Lifestyle blog/website of sorts. The most famous of blog posts he wrote, as captured by Deadspin years ago, was about his curious tip on what to use coconut oil for.
"You're moisturized and smelling tropical, your teeth are white and your face looks like you've just visited a Beverly Hills plastic surgeon. The sun has set, and the moon is out. Perhaps you have a friend nearby, perhaps it's just you by your lonesome…well, this is awkward. I've promised you authenticity, honesty and openness. Take this how you wish and I'll spare you the step by step. Coconut oil is the world's greatest lubricant. I can't help where your mind goes with this. Once the ball leaves the bat, I can't steer it".
So there you go, sports fans. Start masturbating with coconut oil.
Please tell me more about your new and progressive thinking, Gabe.
"I have a tree right outside my bedroom.
It stands outside my window, its palms reaching meters from my bed. When it’s rainy and breezy, my tree is a percussion instrument. There’s only one on earth like it. A thousand tiny hands drumming and shaking; a symphony of one.
Each night, two paths present themselves to me. Sleep deeply and soundly by tightly sealing the window or leave it open to fully absorb the score, drifting in and out of rest until sunrise.
I never close it".
At least Gabe Kapler was important to gay male sports fans
As the Internet grew and blogging became popular, Kapler embraced the platform to post on fitness, nutrition and health as part of a lifestyle he called Kaplifestyle. Shirtless photos continued to be a staple, as were offbeat articles about the wonders of jerking off with coconut oil or the importance of tanning your balls.
Also heard he's trying to switch out sunflower seeds with grasshoppers, because protein is important.
Alright, I've seen and heard enough. We're screwed. Dude's a fucking headcase. Great hire, Philly.